![]() ![]() Renault at 7:05 PM on August 2 Įveryone is telling me every single day lately "dating apps! Dating apps! You can't find love without a dating app, you just can't!" because I'd rather meet someone IRL doing things I love, but somehow I literally can't find anyone I like while doing those things that will like me back, apparently. And I've no better ideas than to keep at it, fanning that tiny flame of diminishing hope. And here I am still, churning through the numbers, hoping against hope, trying to beat a system designed to keep me subscribed at the cost of a dollar a day, swiping through the same old faces I've seen a million times before, knowing that I'm one of those same old faces to someone else. ![]() It was so particularly soul-destroying and humiliating. Of course, it wasn't love, because why would I be that lucky, and I had to retrieve all those skills from out of the recycling and reload the apps. I could take those recycled resume-recital speeches and practiced A-list bon mots and heightened dating Spider-sense and just toss them aside. And as joyful as finding love was, it was matched by the sheer fucking relief at never having to go online dating again. Not that it leads anywhere.Ī couple years back, I thought I'd finally found love. I hate it, but for all my years of doing it, I've become remarkably adept at it. When you're done with school, when friends of friends have all been tapped out, when you're smart enough not to date at work, when you age out of bars, where extracurricular activities do not exist for the purpose of picking up - what else is there? Online dating is generally a miserable experience, but - it's the only game in town. And what's to say other than that I'm still here, still working the numbers game? I'd rather not think about how many years I've actually been at this. I've been online dating since well before Tinder was around, going from one site to another, feeling out the vibes and learning about the constituencies of each. Posted by wesleyac at 6:43 PM on August 2 Īll the author's experiences are familiar to me, except for that there's obviously more sex happening in New York than where I am. Which seems completely preposterous to me - I don't know what the author consider "being good at being single" but I think being comfortable with loneliness and solitude is a really important skill, and not one that swiping on tinder whenever you feel lonely (or knowing that you have the ability to swipe on tinder) seems like it's actually building? The examples she gives describe ways of papering over loneliness, not of fixing it, and the description of "compartmentalizing" dating only really makes sense if you are spending a pretty unhealthy amount of time when you're single thinking about wanting to be dating, which I think is actually the root cause that would need to be fixed to describe oneself as "becoming better at being single."īut I guess between this and the Feeld article on here a couple weeks ago, apparently normie writers talking about extremely normal online dating experiences in trendy magazines is something that there's a audience for, as strange as that is to me. ![]() What Tinder is good at, what it seems designed to do, is make me much better at being single. "Online dating bad" is, uh, really not a novel take that needs 6,500 words written about it in 2022.Īnd the closest it comes to making a novel point, is, I think: Anyway I finished the article and I really do not understand what point it's trying to make, if it's trying to make a point at all. ![]()
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